WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW,” EVERYBODY. I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) YOU KNOW, HOW FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS YOU’VE BEEN THINKING, “THERE’S PROBABLY BAD STUFF IN THE MUELLER REPORT THAT MAKES DONALD TRUMP LOOK TERRIBLE.” ( LAUGHTER ) BUT THEN THREE WEEKS AGO, ATTORNEY GENERAL…Continue reading Colbert Gets His Copy Of The Mueller Report
-You know what? I follow you on the Instagrams and the Twitters and stuff. And you posted this. And I kind of was blown away. It is been 30 years since “Dead Poets Society.” -30 years this month. -Is that right? -Yeah. -You were a baby. -I was a little baby. Look at that, it…Continue reading Josh Charles Reflects on Robin Williams 30 Years After Dead Poets Society
Good morning, Hank. It’s Tuesday. Why is this fellow, given to me by a Nerdfighter in Germany, doing his happy dance? Because Amazon.com just named The Fault In Our Stars one of the ten best books of 2012. I don’t mean books for teenagers, I mean overall books, like I’m right behind Dave Eggers and…Continue reading I Was a Child Poet. And a Bad One.
-Well, while you guys were clapping, the Rams punted six more times. -Really? -That’s right. That’s right — Last night was Super Bowl LIII, and 53 is also how many people stayed awake for the whole thing. [ Laughter ] But I want to say congratulations to the New England Patriots on winning the Super…Continue reading Jimmy’s Post-Super Bowl Monologue
-Thank you for being here for this special Veterans Day show, as well. I know you have a connection to some veterans in your life. -Yeah. My dad. My dad was a veteran. My dad was in the Army. [ Cheers and applause ] And I’ve had the good fortune of being able to go…Continue reading Mark Wahlberg Gave Post Malone His Film Debut
[Music] [Applause] All right if somebody has a question now’s the time. Amir. [O.S] So earlier you talked about how the best jokes are written during the show. Like, I think I know what you mean, but can you like, explain a little bit more? Okay yeah, it’s true my belief is and I think…Continue reading Writing Jokes Outside & Inside the Show – Greg Dean
-Scientists may have discovered a new killer whale species. Said one scientist after making the discovery, “You’re orca.” [ Weak laughter ] This brings us to a segment called “One of My Writers Explains Their joke.” ♪♪ [ Applause ] Ian, you want to — You want to talk us through that one? -Yeah. Uh,…Continue reading One of Seth’s Writers Explains a Joke: You’re Orca!
-And finally, according to a new poll, former Vice President Joe Biden and Senator Elizabeth Warren are tied in Iowa. Now they both just have to hope that a few Iowans change Des Moines. [ Laughter ] This, uh — This brings us to a segment called “One of my writers explains their joke.” ♪♪…Continue reading One of Seth’s Writers Explains a Joke: Change Des Moines