Rudolph Goes to Court – Studio C

♪♪ [audience applause] – Thank you all for coming,
as your arbitrator I’m here to help you settle
this dispute outside of court. – I don’t see
what the problem is, I think the song’s great. – Enough with the reindeer
games, Rudolph. The song paints you like a hero, and us like villains. – I know, right? – No, that’s not a– Dude, Rudolph, I went to your son’s
bar mitzvah, we’re friends. – Okay, perhaps we should go through what you all feel
is misleading in the song and make changes as we go. – Fine. – All right, excellent
let’s start with this one. “All of the other reindeer used to laugh
and call him names.” – That’s true! – What names? We just called you
like Rudy or Rude. – [indignant] You’re rude! – Okay,
it’s a nickname, you dimwit. – See,
he just called me a dimwit! – Okay, so uh,
did they ever laugh at you? – Well I just said
that they laughed, not that they laughed at me. [laughing] Everyone laughs. You guys, they laugh, they’ve laughed. – So we’ll change that,
moving on. The next line
in contention reads, “They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games”. – See now, that’s true. – No, no, we invited you
to all the reindeer games. – Yeah,
you just never wanted to come. – Yeah, we invited you
to Guess Hooves. – Ugh. – And Antlers to Antlers. – Oh, come on. – And Call of Duty night. – I wanna play Risk! – Ugh, that game takes forever! – Rudolph,
reindeer hate two things: pistachios, and geopolitics. – Right, so it sounds
like you were invited. – Yeah but I was poor, I was flying Uber in the summer. – All right, noted. Okay next line, “Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say, Rudolph with your nose
so bright”, etcetera etcetera. – Didn’t happen! Never happened, sorry. – Yeah your nose
isn’t even bright enough to light up this room. – Oh, okay! – Okay, could we get
the lights off please? – I got you. – Please do. – Thank you, I appreciate this. [audience laughter] [straining] [laughing] – Renewable energy! There we go. – No, that’s like barely
six watts! – Yeah, and that Christmas Eve
was hazy at best. – And you only
got to ride shotgun because you get sleigh sick. – Uh, Santa wanted me there! – Santa! Do you seriously think
that Santa Claus would put the most passive aggressive
reindeer up front? – Oh, so I’m the most
passive aggressive one? – You just did it! You’re proving my point
right now! [all arguing] – All right
if we could for just a moment! The next line is, “Then all the reindeer
loved him,” – Oh then! Then we loved you. That’s when we started
to love you, Rudolph, because I’m sorry, I must have forgot
that when I was too busy singing at your son’s bar mitzvah. – Oh, it was
my daughter’s quinceanera! – I don’t remember! There was cake and I came,
that’s what matters. – All right,
and finally it says that “Rudolph will go down
in history,” affirming that he is
the most famous reindeer of all. – Okay seriously? What about Comet? He got a purple heart in Iraq. – I’m just glad
you have the freedom to call yourself
the “most famous”. [audience laughter] – Thank you for your service. – All right,
based on today’s proceedings I propose the following
amended lyrics. Uh Prancer, would you do
the call and response? – Of course. – All right,
there’s Dasher, Dancer, etcetera etcetera. But do you recall another one? Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. – Reindeer. – Had a red nose. – Like a zit. – And if you ever saw it,
you would even say it was approximately six watts. – Like a radioactive zit. [audience laughter] – All of the other reindeer. – Reindeer. – Were as cordial as could be
under the circumstances. – Like a family reunion. – Then one marginally hazy
Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph if your sleigh sickness
is so bad, why don’t you come up front?” – So, just so I know
for my sake. Are we not putting in the part about the bar mitzvah or no? – Dude, chill out
about the bar mitzvah thing. [sighs] But if you do put it in there, make sure they know
I was there too. [audience laughter] – The reindeer
loved him regardless. – Regardless. – Mm-hmm,
and treated him the same. – Yippee. [audience laughter] – Comet, the war worn reindeer, you’re an American hero. [audience laughter] – Like Beyoncé. – Yes. All right, excellent. These new lyrics
will now be sung by every child in the world. I believe we are done, if you would
just remain for a moment I have one more case
to arbitrate, Dasher this is against you. – Wait, wait what? What did I do? – All right ladies
you can come in. – Yep, that’s him, that’s the dumb deer
that ran over my grandma. [audience laughter] – Okay,
now that was a foggy night! [thud] – Okay! – Grandma no! Grandma! Grandma no! [audience applause] – My clients
would like to thank you for watching Studio C. [incoherent whispering] Oh, okay. And they
would like to remind you to visit
or download the BYUtv app for more exclusive content you’re not gonna find
anywhere else, yes? [whispering] You could just
talk to them yourself– Okay. Also like, comment, subscribe, probably comment about, I don’t know,
your favorite Christmas song. – One that sleighs? – Ooh, I don’t like you. [all complaining] I’m out, I’m done. – I liked it. ♪♪

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