[Horn Intro] Congratulations graduates. Your fresh out of school. It wasn’t easy. But I’m here to tell you
that the hard times are just getting started. It’s that post grad life. Moving in with mom and dad. Can’t be mad cause that means I get free rent again. Cause it’s that post grad life. My parents are so proud of me, cause now I get to decorate my bedroom with my degree. Living that post grad life. Working hard to get a job. But the realization that I’m useless makes me wanna sob. Cause it’s that post grad life. Where there are millions just like you. And sure it’s true my schooling’s finished, but all my dreams are too. Ever since I was a kid I had a dream
of going far. I thought I had a chance at success and potential to be a star. So I did what I was supposed to. Go to school. Get a degree. But now I’m on the other side, and
it is very clear to me that I know nothing of the real world. I have no knowledge that I can apply. All of my skills and experience require me to BS just to get by. The most I can do is write an essay about how no employer will hire me. I thought my hard work would pay, but little has changed. And now I’m here to say that it’s that post grad life. Set my alarm for 10 am just so I never miss a second of The Price is Right again. Cause it’s that post grad life. I’m an aficionado of the Internet. Spend all day on the web. Buzzfeed. Tumblr. Even Neopets. Cause it’s that post grad life. Living off Ramen and potato chips. Cause I don’t have any money. Can’t even afford fancy condiments. It’s that post grad life. I spend all day and night binging on Netflix and wine, and for the last time, hell yes I’m still watching. When I was still away at school
I thought I had it figured out. My teachers told me I was special, and I believed them without a doubt. I grew accustomed to succeeding, while getting drunk any night of the week. If I had only believed the rumors that those four years would be my peak. The day after graduation my whole
world came crashing down. No one treats my like I’m special. Not even the burn outs from my home town. Even high school dropouts have better jobs than me cause of all the time I wasted chasing my dreams. So if you’re anything like me and think you’re college degree is a joke then join and sing. We are the future with no real future. Oh, what cruel irony. The world’s depraved. Our lives are over. And even though we shouldn’t be we’re still living that post grad life. You really thought the grass was greener, but on this side no one cares
that you’re an overachiever. It’s that post grad life. No one knows when it will end. Eventually you’ll reach your goals, or at least you can pretend. Cause it’s that post grad life. Nothing will make it all better, cause you can’t avoid the shame from being unemployed forever. It’s that post grad life. If you still need answers then good luck, and welcome to the real world where no one gives a f***. Who knows. Maybe one day we’ll make it. But for now, we’ve just got to fake it.