Nell Scovell Tries Writing Jokes In Trump’s Voice


( BAND PLAYING )
>>Stephen: HELLO! HI! WELL THIS IS WEIRD BECAUSE I
HAVE BEEN ON THIS SET A THOUSAND TIMES.>>Stephen: RIGHT. BUT NEVER WITH THE CAMERAS
ON.>>Stephen: WELL, BECAUSE
YOU –>>WHAT DOES THE RED LIGHT MEAN?>>Stephen: THE RED LIGHT
MEANS WE’RE BROADCASTING LIVE TO MR. AND MRS. AMERICA AND ALL THE
SHIPS AT SEA.>>I’M JUST GOING TO IGNORE IT.>>Stephen: PLEASE DO. YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLE C.V. YOU CREATED SABRINA THE TEENAGE
WITCH, WROTE FOR THE SYMPTOMS, COACH, YOU WROTE FOR SPY
MAGAZINE.>>SPY WAS GREAT.>>Stephen: WHAT WAS THE FIRST
THING YOU WENT TO GO COVER?>>IT WAS ABOUT PAMPERED PETS ON
THE UPPER EAST SIDE CALLED “HOW RICH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE
WINDOW.” ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: REALLY RICH, I BET.>>IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A
SCATHING COMMENTARY ON HOW WE OVERINDULGE THESE ANIMALS AND
EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS ADORABLE!>>Stephen: UH-HUH. IT WAS THE ’80s!>>Stephen: THAT’S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WRITE A PIECE OF COMEDY FOR EVERYONE TO
SAY, THAT’S CUTE.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: YOU’VE WRITTEN A
BOOK CALLED “JUST THE FUNNY PARTS,” A FEW HARD TRUTHS ABOUT
SNEAKING INTO THE HOLLYWOOD BOYS CLUB. HOW DID YOU SNEAK IN AND WHAT
WERE SOME OF THE BIGGEST OBSTACLES?>>WELL, I WAS A SPORTS WRITER
FOR THE “BOSTON GLOBE” WAS MY FIRST PROFESSIONAL WRITING JOB,
AND I THINK I HAD A LOT OF SHARED INTERESTS ORSTERO
TYPICALLY MALE INTERESTS — STEREOTYPICAL MALE INTERESTS. I LOVED STAR WAS, COULD STUFF MY
FACE WITH PIZZA, I DID NOT DRESS LIKE. THIS I TRIED TO BLEND IN AS BEST
I COULD. NOW I TRULY BELIEVE A FAIRER
SAMPLING OF HUMANITY WILL ALWAYS PRODUCE BETTER COMEDY.>>Stephen: COMEDY THAT
REACHES MORE PEOPLE, MORE UNDERSTANDABLE. ( APPLAUSE )
>>YEP.>>Stephen: SO, YOU KNOW, IT
IS SORT OF PROVERBIAL THAT WOMEN HAVE A HARDER TIME BREAKING INTO
COMEDY THAN MEN DO, AND IT’S HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: DID YOU MEET,
LIKE, OVERT ACTS OF, LIKE, YOU ARE LESSER THAN OR WE HAVE TO
WAIT TO SEE WHETHER YOU CAN BE FUNNY?>>THERE WAS AN INSTANCE WHERE I
WAS A CO-EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ON A SHOW AND THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
ASKED ME TO REWRITE THE SCRIPT OF THE STORY EDITOR, WHICH I DID
OVER THE WEEKEND, AND I TURNED INTO IT MY BOSS AND HE SAID,
GREAT JOB, BUT IF IT’S OKAY, I’M GOING TO TELL MIKE DID THE
REWRITE, I DON’T WANT TO EMASCULATE HIM. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>Stephen: WOW… I KNOW! I ACTUALLY LOVE IT WHEN IT’S
THAT OVERT. IT’S SO OBVIOUS.>>Stephen: IT’S CLEAR. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TEASE IT OUT.>>NO, I DON’T HAVE TO WONDER
WHAT HE MEANT BY THAT.>>Stephen: YOU INCLUDE A
CHAPTER ABOUT ALL THE SHOWS THAT GOT AWAY. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST ONE THAT GOT
AWAY. WHAT WAS YOUR WHITE WHALE?>>IF I COULD ADD ONE TO THAT
STACK, I WOULD ADD THE X FILES.>>Stephen: THAT’S A COMEDY. WELL, I WROTE DRAMAS, TOO. IT WAS AMUSING, THE X FILES.>>Stephen: I HAVE A MORE
LIMITED REP TORE THAN YOU.>>I WROTE THE OUTLINE AND GOT A
CALL FROM CHRIS CARTER WHO WAS EXCITED WITH BIG NEWS, STEPHEN
KING WANTED TO WRITE AN EPISODE WHICH I THOUGHT WAS TERRIFIC
UNTIL I FOUND OUT THAT WERE TAKING THE EPISODE I WAS WRITING
AWAY FROM ME –>>Stephen: AND GIVING IT TO
STEPHEN KING?>>HE DID ANOTHER ONE BUT IT WAS
THE LAST FREELANCE ASSIGNMENT. BUT HERE’S WHAT’S SO WEIRD, IN
STEPHEN KING’S NOVELS, IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT AN ORDINARY PERSON
WHOSE LIFE IS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN BY AN AGENT OF CHAOS LIKE CUJO
THE DOG. THE STEPHEN KING MONSTER IN MY
LIFE WAS STEPHEN KING! ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: YOU WROTE JOKES
FOR OBAMA, I UNDERSTAND.>>I DID, IT WAS GREAT.>>Stephen: AND HILLARY
CLINTON.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WOULD YOU WRITE OR
HAVE YOU WRITTEN FOR DONALD TRUMP?>>I HAVE NOT, I WOULD NOT.>>Stephen: MM-HMM. BUT THE QUESTION IS COULD I? BECAUSE TO WRITE JOKES FOR
SOMEONE, YOU HAVE TO GET INSIDE THEIR HEAD.>>Stephen: RIGHT. O I WANTED TO GIVE IT A TRY,
SO I GOT IN HIS HEAD, IT WAS QUITE ROOMY.>>Stephen: YEP. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>YEAH. ( PIANO RIFF )
>>Stephen: THERE YOU GO. IS THAT WHAT YOU SENT?>>I DID. I SENT SOME TO YOUR PEOPLE.>>Stephen: MY PRODUCER HANDED
ME THE CARD, JOKES YOU WROTE AS A CHALLENGE, YOU MIGHT SAY.>>YES. HE DECLINED TO APPEAR AT THE
WHITE HOUSE ACCORDANCE DINNER, BUT IF HE DID, HE COULD GIVE
THESE JOKES.>>Stephen: MAY I READ? I WISH YOU WOULD, PLEASE.>>Stephen: THIS IS NELL
SCOVELL’S JOKES FOR DONALD TRUMP THAT HE WILL NEVER TELL. IMAGINE YOU’RE AT THE
CORRESPONDENTS DINNER. “YOU KNOW, PEOPLE GOT UPSET
BECAUSE I TOLD STORMY DANIELS THAT SHE WAS SMART AND WE MINDED
ME OF MY DAUGHTER. IN MY DEFENSE, I COULDN’T SAY
SHE WAS SMART AND REMINDED ME OF MY SONS .” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: NICE. GOT ANOTHER ONE. “YOU KNOW, DON — THANKS SO
MUCH, YOU’RE A GREAT CROWD. DON, JR., I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. THAT FIRST DIVORCE IS TOUGH. SECOND ONE’S EASIER, AND THE
THIRD ONE’S KIND OF FUN, RIGHT, MELANIA? MELANIA?”
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: “JUST THE FUNNY PARTS” IS OUT NOW. NELL SCOVELL, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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