An ENFP and INFP Romance? #askdan Is It Possible?!

hey Dan here and we have another askdan question coming from Germany today now before I get into the question a little
housekeeping if you do want to send me in a question the best way to do it is
through my website you’ll see a tab right at the top there in the menu
called a Stan and submit the question that way
I love you guys but I get questions sent on YouTube messages which I didn’t even
know was a thing until recently I get questions sent on my Facebook page and
all over the place so I eventually see those but sometimes I don’t see them for
weeks or months so if you really want to send something through a Stannah on the
website now let’s get to this question I am Sasha from Germany and I’ve just seen
your YouTube video about how to succeed in your business or career that’s a
video for ENFP link but this isn’t the topic I felt like writing your vote I
just discovered myself to be a true mix of ENFP and INTP and I’m wondering if
you have ever dated an INFP girl me dating ever no never
I’m asking what I’m asking because I got to know an INFP girl at a party two
weeks ago and I’m a hundred percent sure we both felt a deep connection out of
the blue a couple more things he had her take the test and which of course an
INFP would would love and let’s see so then he’s mentioning some traits oh but
would confused me if she was extremely extroverted social behavior in a group
of seminary people maybe she is acting very outgoing all the time to prevent
going inside her head or do you think this could be another explanation for
such kinds of rest restlessness for an INFP do you have some other tips with
how to deal with infps especially an INFP girl that shows interest in me
thank you for your answer or perhaps you could make a video about this topic
which is what I’m doing so my first thought I’m going to get into I know
fees and I do have some experience in terms of dating with infps as well just
not that my personal experience necessarily matters but one of the
things that jumps out on me here and I know it’s funny coming from the guy who
makes videos about personality type and all that right I
should really encourage you to be obsessed with it but I got to say don’t
be so obsessed with it that we you know there’s more to
personality type that I purely relied on the personality type in terms of who I
was dating I would not be with my partner right now now you might have
seen a video I filmed about eight months ago about how I’m an ENFP also dating an
ENFP which is not something recommended in general like in the literature and
it’s an awesome relationship and it still is and so there is something to be
said with a compatibility and at the end of the video I’ll mention a
compatibility chart I have like there’s certain types that are not a good fit
and there’s certain types of are good fit but as long as you’re sort of within
that realm you don’t have to overthink it so much right so I’m all for testing
your friends and people you’re dating tell them about my videos my books
awesome but don’t necessarily overthink all this sometimes the myers-briggs for
all the benefits it has it can also end up creating these limiting beliefs and
I’ve also found where I’ve tried to force things with someone that was the
perfect compatibility type and it just it really wasn’t actually the right fit
but it was like well my rig said we should have a romantic spark so let’s
try it out so an ENFP and an INFP well one reason that you probably feel
this connection it makes total sense is NF is an infps or both very intuitive
people and we both interact with the world through our emotions in one way or
the other right we do it differently but and basically we experience life through
intuition and emotion and we’re both idealist as well so like falling in love
and fairytales and all that is is relatively appealing to us present
company included and so I can definitely understand that sort of deep connection
right away it makes total sense my advice in terms of an INFP
and this is definitely coming from my own experience as an ENFP we can be
quite over the top sometimes and sometimes we say things we don’t follow
through it sometimes often maybe and so from the female point of view an ENFP
guy can often come off as like a liar you know
he said he felt this he just wanted to get me into bed and that’s not actually
what the guy is experiencing the guy is like feeling those emotions in the
moment and then if changes or something shifts or whatever it is
infps tend to be and this is more coming from my own dating experience not from
me as the professional who writes books or whatever keep that in mind in my
experience in dating that infps tend to be fairly sensitive and slow to open
themselves up and so if they do open themselves up to you I you as an ENFP
have a bit of a responsibility to be responsible you know to follow up their
on your word to you know be aware of the of her feelings I’m sure this can happen
the other way as well you know male-female reversing that all around in
that but being really yeah sensitive of their feelings because for you what
might be easy to sort of open up and put yourself out there and fall for someone
might not be nearly so easy for them and so you might find in a situation where
there is the risk of kind of over promising or losing interest quickly and
potentially hurting someone not that that happened in my past or anything but
that is something I would include there the other thing I would say is part of
your question you were asking about how she would have such extroverted social
behavior right if she was an INFP and this goes back to my point about
don’t overthink the types too too much because there’s more than just your type
that plays into this right confidence plays a big role confidence and anxiety
but anxiety is very much related to confidence some of my early books are on
this topic and there’s a big interplay between basically your belief in
yourself and then feeling anxiety right because if you feel really confident in
your ability to handle a situation it’s less likely you’ll feel anxious so you
can have many cases like apparently from the general typing like jay-z and Arnold
Schwarzenegger are INTJs well these are not people that you would probably see
at an event and think wow that’s like a shy introvert right because they have a
lot of confidence they have a lot of Drive and they’ve learned
how to handle themselves in social situations and all that so you can have
an extroverted type who may be more shy in social situations because of some
insecurities or because of anxiety and you can also have it where you’ll have
someone who is maybe an introverted type but it doesn’t mean that when they’re
with friends and stuff they can’t be like loud and telling stories and all
that as well it’s just more of a where they get their energy from so one of the
key ways to tell whether you’re truly an introvert or extrovert it’s not whether
you like people because most people like people or that but it’s how you get your
energy so as a extrovert usually you need to be around people that energizes
you right if you stay home for two or three days and you’re an extrovert
you’ll get really down and you’re like I need people where introverts tend to
find social social situations more overwhelming sorry I shouldn’t say
overwhelming but tiring so I have some friends here good friends of mine
they’re a couple and they’re both introverts I’m I mean I haven’t had them
do the test but I’m 99% sure and if there’s like a big party they will come
out to be polite to sort of meet everyone
but they’ll maybe spend an hour and then go because it’s just not like a great
environment for them but they love to organize like small dinners for friends
or see friends and all that you’re not opposed to like hanging out talking and
all that day they love that it’s just about the kind of social event and that
as well so I don’t know if that answers your
question but I don’t necessarily you know depending on the social environment
it doesn’t necessarily say too much about type but again the thing I will
leave you on is regardless of exactly you know where she falls on the type
there’s a little more to that I found in my own case in a relationship with
another ENFP which there are some challenges sometimes but being like
learning to be more mature and kind of think things through of just
acknowledging our strengths and our weaknesses and then appreciating each
other for who we are has been really powerful so if you find that you and
Miss INFP here have have a connection and it keeps going and growing keep that
in mind of accepting the other person for who they are and really what I found
helpful is taking time to be grateful for the other person like
think about all the amazing traits they have and then when some of them may be
frustrating traits come up it’s not going to bug you as much because you’ve
sort of built up that buffer of like all the great things about that person so I
did mention that I have a compatibility chart I’ll share with you this is
something that I’m just putting up here so if you’d like it I’ll put a link here
and you’ll be able to get this compatibility chart which will show you
like all the 16 types and who’s sort of a red zone like never date who like it
could possibly be a good fit and who like you could be a great match with but
again it’s not a hundred percent so sometimes trust your heart as well
and with that you’ll also get a five-part email training which is all
about how to use your personality type and your knowledge of your personality
type to create the most awesome life for you and again that’s all free and
there’ll be the link popping up or it’s already popped up I think it’s this side
but I always miss it’s this one of these sides you’re going to see a link okay
come on you’re good at computers you can do it alright catch you another video
soon subscribe to the channel love you guys

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